Came here to have a bitch and read my first entry - That will teach me!
He's been away several weeks and wife's personal problems and his health have taken their toll. All he wants to do is effing sleep! And of course I've been very understanding - because I actually am - just seems a bit ironic that after my crowing I'm not getting it either!
And now it's all getting a bit much with family stuff and he's having to cancel time with me and I feel pretty peed off with it.
I love him. I think he is absolutely my soulmate, and I love the fact he is so caring of others including his wife, but she IS a big girl with no kids whose marriage has floundered several times. I'm peed off with having to come second.
If I am a secret and she is to be protected it means I don't get the support if I have personal problems. I expect my soulmate to be able to support me in a crisis. If he can't then despite him seeming like my absolute other half, he becomes less - A best friend and fuckbuddy? Not sure what the best description is.
And while I care about the relationship and our longterm future (if we have one) I resent fact I'm not getting a decent sex-life while we deal with the angst. And I deeply resent how shallow that makes me seem - but we'd both been victims of sexless relationships when we got together - and that took ages to discover because despite what we've since done we were both at the time very loyal and protective of our partners.
