A bit on the side

Officially semi detatched

2009-03-31T00:02:17+02:00

As he's not leaving his wife I decided I could no longer be faithful to a man not faithful to me. trouble is its hard getting shallow time with man nice enough to have shallow time with, if you see what I mean. I have limited but positive experience of casual sex when single, but feels a bit strange being open to it when I'm a bit on the side and love the man in question...
It's not 'tit for tat', just an uneasiness on being second fiddle for all practical purposes.

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Blimey! Another year...!

2009-02-05T23:57:55+01:00

Sex life stil sporadic as is our time together. As said love him for more than sex, but as a bit on the side feel I should be getting more than I am.

All sorts of things have happened and I'm pissed off with his wife's 'vulnerability' - her winning hand.

There's a Shaw play where a poet is in love with the vicar's wife and she chooses the weak man. Vicar is crushed, but poet realises that she means vicar not him.

Due to certain life experiences I am very aware of the tyranny of te apparently weak.

I am not a victim - If only I had energy to proactively look for lovers...

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Just to set the record straight

2008-02-02T01:20:38+01:00

I do have a sex life with him>" class="middle" border="0">
This is somewhat of a sporadic blog.

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Blog.UK misses me!

2008-01-13T22:17:57+01:00

How sweet! Anyone would think their advertising revenue might suffer if people like me drift off...

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Hoist by my own petard

2007-08-31T20:19:35+02:00

Came here to have a bitch and read my first entry - That will teach me!

He's been away several weeks and wife's personal problems and his health have taken their toll. All he wants to do is effing sleep! And of course I've been very understanding - because I actually am - just seems a bit ironic that after my crowing I'm not getting it either!

And now it's all getting a bit much with family stuff and he's having to cancel time with me and I feel pretty peed off with it.

I love him. I think he is absolutely my soulmate, and I love the fact he is so caring of others including his wife, but she IS a big girl with no kids whose marriage has floundered several times. I'm peed off with having to come second.

If I am a secret and she is to be protected it means I don't get the support if I have personal problems. I expect my soulmate to be able to support me in a crisis. If he can't then despite him seeming like my absolute other half, he becomes less - A best friend and fuckbuddy? Not sure what the best description is.

And while I care about the relationship and our longterm future (if we have one) I resent fact I'm not getting a decent sex-life while we deal with the angst. And I deeply resent how shallow that makes me seem - but we'd both been victims of sexless relationships when we got together - and that took ages to discover because despite what we've since done we were both at the time very loyal and protective of our partners.

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In touch with my inner bitch

2007-07-04T17:30:41+02:00

Theoretically the wife doesn't know I am back in his life.

He went from happy and not interested in sex to miserable and willing to give sex a go, doing little and smoking lots of dope.

He now goes out rather often, is very cheerful, has cut back on the dope, but gets moody and/or poorly if he doesn't get time 'to himself'.

And in the words of my good friend: "I'd smell if he was seeing another woman" - The wife appears to lack physical and emotional sense of smell it seems.

She could be so confident that having had the conversation, made minor changes in their life and reinstated a sporadic sexlife everything is fine, but I can't help thinking she knows and is turning a blind eye.

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Here goes, then.

2007-07-02T21:21:10+02:00

Jemimah's first blog.
Hello, World!
I am a bit on the side. I feel like a beloved bit on the side, but it's nice to have somewhere to call a spade a bloody shovel, if so inclined.
Why a blog? To say the stuff that stays inside my head (until now!) Friends are great, as are therapists. I guess a blog, like a diary is a third way.
Enough of the rambling!

My lover is older than me and has health problems. This and a thirty year-plus marriage gave him the excuse for a celibate marriage after meeting me. He tried to do the decent thing and confessed and tried to leave marriage, but wasn't able to carry through. When trying to live without me he restarted conjugal relations. The Wife had been keen to give up sex, but then started to worry that he wasn't missing it. She thinks if they're having sex things are OK.

What surprised me, is that I am not threatened by, nor do I particularly care about the marital sex. Being cynical I am bound to be more interesting than his longterm partner. And I do honestly feel loved for all sorts of sloppy things I don't particularly want to discuss here. I know age, health and medication gave/give him excuses to keep such sex to minimum.

So Dear Reader - Does the lady protest too much?

I think intercourse is rather nice, but being rather clitoral I can take it or leave it. My lover is excellent at giving me pleasure and gets a lot of excitement from this. I think he enjoys my lack of inhibitions about such things as well. As marital sex has to be proper and culminate in intercourse for reasonable length of time, my 'take it or leave it' attitude is helpful I suspect when illness, age, medication play their part.

And now for the trigger for this blog. Today I had a lovely time with my lover and a very nice orgasm. I thought it would be nice to reciprocate and despite medication I gave him a very nice time. I was pleased for him, but the devil on my shoulder smirked and said 'It'll be a while before The Wife gets attention'

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